Maria Sue Chapman

Last night as we were laying in bed watching the news, a story ran that Stephen Curtis Chapman's five year old daughter, Maria, had been killed in an accident at their home. A pit just came into my stomach that hasn't left since I heard that news.

Stephen is originally from Paducah. So, having lived there for 8 years, you can't help but feel like you know him personally. But, my "relationship" with him officially began about 10 years before I ever thought about moving to Paducah. Stephen was a pace-setter in the Christian music industry when Contemporary music was just being formed in it's earliest state. He, Amy Grant, and Michael W. Smith were the first true pioneers in that genre, and I was a huge fan of all three! His music pulled me through some dark times in high school. I am such a fan of how he has represented his faith and himself. He's top of the list in my book!

More than my respect for him as a person, comes the fact that in just two weeks, I will also have a five year old child. I literally can not put into words how my life would break into pieces if I lost either of my children. I know that God's plan is perfect, and how much more joyous would it be for my children to live in heaven, instead of with me as a mom with all of my faults. But, my selfishness far outweighs what I could hold as "best for my child ... in God's perfect plan". I simply can not imagine the immense grief that their family is feeling on so many levels. They have lost a full-of-life little girl (watch the YouTube video tribute to her on Stephen's website!), and also have five other children to comfort and lead through this tragedy, too. One of those children - that is responsible for the accident - can you imagine the guilt that he must carry? How do you even begin to help him recover?

This is more than my heart and my mind can even begin to wrap itself around. I am praying for this family, and I hope that you will too. I am also praising God for blessing my family with healthy children and for the opportunity to hug and kiss and laugh and cuddle and celebrate with Avery and Piper for another day.

I am ...

i am listening to: Slacker (online radio station - thanks Kaylan!)
i think: i might be smarter and more capable than I give myself credit for.
i know: that Don loves me.
i want: gas prices to go down.
i have: to much stuff to do at home.
i wish: I had more time at night to scrapbook.
i hate: putting away clothes.
i miss: my younger body.
i fear: having to live a long life without my husband or kids.
i feel: excited to see DCI on the big screen tonight.
i hear: Jason laughing at us because he gets to leave tomorrow.
i smell: absolutely nothing right now.
i crave: movie theater popcorn.
i search: ebay for random things. (hairbows, make-up, cell phones, etc)
i wonder: how long I will live?
i regret: not being able to go home more to see family and friends.
i love: my children.
i ache: for parents that cant provide for their children.
i care: about who wins this presidential election (go Hillary).
i always: make fun of myself.
i am not: passive.
i believe: there is hope for all of us.
i dance: to make my kids laugh.
i sing: in the car.
i don’t always: get up when my alarm goes off.
i fight: for my friends.
i write: blogs. checks. lots of to do lists.
i win: contests I make up in my head.
i lose: nothing.
i never: eat sushi.
i confuse: my kids names.
i listen: to podcasts of talk shows.
i can usually be found: making a mess.
i am scared: of dying before I see my children marry and have children of their own.
i need: to be home with my family most nights of the week to feel happy.
i am happy about: our vacation to Disney (Take Two)
You?

HBD Don and A List of Character

Happy Birthday, Don!
First of all, I'll have to say that I can't believe you are 40. If you're 40, then I have to be ... well, let's not even talk about that! ... Happy Birthday to the best husband in the world - my best friend, my soulmate, the person that takes care of me - keeps me safe, makes me laugh, and shares every up and down in my life. You are the best and I love you unconditionally ... Happy Birthday!

I read this list today and thought it spoke to the person that I strive to be everyday. And, moreover, it spoke to the kind of people that I want to surround myself with.

I want to be a person ...

Who cannot be bought;
Whose word is their bond;
Who puts character above wealth;
Who possesses opinions and a will;
Who is larger than my vocation;
Who does not hesitate to take chances;
Who will not lose my individuality in a crowd;
Who will be as honest in small things as in great things;
Who will not make compromise with wrong;
Whose ambition is not confined to my own selfish desires;
Who will not say I do it “because everybody else does it;”
Who is true to my friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as prosperity;
Who does not believe that shrewdness, cunning, and hardheadedness are the best qualities for winning success;
Who is not ashamed or afraid to stand for the truth when it is unpopular;
Who can say “no” with emphasis, although all the rest of the world says “yes.”


Till next time!

Lucky Me

For some reason tonight, I've had on my mind how incredibly lucky I am to have my sweet little family.

Don is such an incredible husband. I can't even begin to name all of the wonderful things he does for us. His sacrifice is far beyond the call of husbandly duty - and all so that we can have and do fun, fun things and live the life that we always wanted. He is honest when I need it and comforting when I need it. He is my very best friend, my true love, and an example for me every day.

Avery ... sweet little Avery. He is such a compassionate child. He is kind and gentle, sweet and calm ... He is a light in my life. His personality is so much like mine as a child, I can identify with his tendencies and love him for his goodness. He is a little boy who loves to play with trucks and who has developed a love for the show "Dirty Jobs." He wants to be a train engineer, an ice truck driver, a monorail driver, and a drummer. I can't wait to see what he will become, but whatever it is, he will do it well. That's just Avery.

Piper is, well, I just laugh when I think about Piper. She is demanding and bossy, is obsessive about brushing her teeth and washing her hands, loves to dress up and talk about her boyfriend (Evan) - she is the perfect little girl and I love every inch of her. She is everything that I ever wanted to be but was too shy or too intimidated. She is my little best friend, as she rarely lives my side. She will be a blessing to many people and I can't wait to see all that she does.

I am so incredibly thankful and grateful for such a great family. I guess Valentine's Day has me considering these things. Looking at Don, Avery and Piper makes me appreciate all that God has done for me and how he has brought me through the fire and out safely on the other side!

My Valentines wish for every friend is that you will find the same love for the people in your life. If you don't have them in your life now - search until you find them. It is SO worth it ...

Happy Valentines Week :)

New Year's Resolution(s)

(1) Lose weight ... Laugh if you will. I vow to shed the 20 pounds that have found me since the birth of my first child. I'm down 3 already. Don is down 10. We've adapted a healthy eating lifestyle, not a diet ... because we all know that a "diet" is a death sentence, right? I can do it, and I am giving myself until mid-April to do so!!!

(2) Take care of me. I simply don't. Rarely do I do anything for myself. That needs to change. I'll be a better person. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter ... I just do things for others and then at the end of the day when I'm too exhausted to do anything else - I remember me.

(3) Be a better (more consistent) blogger. Writing cures the soul. I write as "a job" so I rarely write for enjoyment or for therapy! Kind-of like the painter whose house needs painting!

That's it. Not too overwhelming, no sense writing the ones I've already broken in the last 15 days!!!

Yeah to my husband for negotiating the Blue Devils move to Pro-Mark. Awesome job. Very very very cool :)

Lots of lots-ofs

First things first - we leave for Disney in 13 days. I apologize with the continuous countdown, but you only have to endure it for the next two weeks. Then, that will be quickly replaced with the hundreds of photos. See ... it gets better!!! It is a definite toss-up to see who at my house is most excited. Don is beside himself with planning which is a complete change for me who usually has to dominate all things that do with scheduling. I am completely OCD + when it comes to controlling agendas. However, I have had no time to do this and he has taken control beautifully :) Avery and Piper (thanks to YouTube) know every detail about every ride, every attraction, every parade. They have watched hours upon hours of videos with their dad preparing. I have watched none fearing that it will ruin the first-time experience for me. (I've been there before, but Avery was 6 weeks old and I have no memory of it at all. I can remember riding "It's a Small World" and that really is the only memory I have. Blame it on postpartum!)

Thanksgiving is Thursday - we are staying at our place. I'm cooking all the works and we plan to just eat and be merry all day. We're going to start with homemade pumpkin bread for breakfast while we watch the Macy's parade - then just lounge all day. Well, everyone else will lounge while I cook. Don has been out of town a lot lately, so I'm looking forward to all of us being in one house!

Winter season is starting up soon. Don's working with two groups and I'm working with one. Fun times ahead :) I can't wait to get started ... taking a year off was a good move for me. And, teaching with Drew Farmer - how much more fun could that be?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FRIENDS!!!

It's Tuesday ...

We had a productive weekend at home after a grueling Thursday and Friday at work. I was certainly ready for the weekend, and NEEDED the weekend!

We have decided to repaint the kitchen and two walls of the den. The paint color wasn't working for us so we're trying a darker shade. I've been meaning to post pictures of the house, but we aren't quite there yet. I'm ready for every room to be finished decor-wise, although I know that it will always be a work in progress.

The season premiere of Desperate Housewives made my heart happy. I so LOVE that show. It was an amazing episode and I'm really looking forward to the new season :) I, still, as I have every season - can identify with every character:
- Bree: I love to have control over situations and I seldom let anyone see beyond my surface.
- Susan: I'm extremely quirky. I have bizarre things happen to me at the most random times.
- Lynette: I'm also the exhausted mother who takes on anything anyone throws my way.
- Gabrielle: I used to be a Gabrielle personality (pre-kids), so I identify with her via a previous life.
- Eddy - Well, I guess the only thing about her (I often forget about her) is that I love real estate!

I'm so disappointed in Britney. Kaylan, we have to push her higher on our prayer list!!! She needs us! :)

Only 65 days until Disney ----- YEAH!!!!!!!! Super excited ...